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things happen for a reason. that's what they all say. but that thought only strikes you when you have experienced those things that make you both weaker and stronger at the same time. weaker because you are at your most vulnerable. stronger because you know somehow you will survive the pain. or the discomfort. or that something nasty.
it's different for everyone. you live through some, reacting differently. but things almost always work out in the end. and if they don't, well that's too bad. you have just got to live with it. those words they appear to have no effect on me. i hear the words as you speak funny. almost as if i was detached listening to it like a mere observer but deep down it leaves me confused distraught, angry, dissapointed i almost want to give up you carried on and i did too. laughing. agreeing. sympathising. listening like nothing ever matters but telling me to right the wrongs of someone else's left me pained and hopelessly lost your words now leave no meaning how could you just leave like that? posted by ellie at 11/17/2005 11:54:00 pm
it shouldnt be this bad. or this difficult. how can you be forced to control something which is way beyond your control? to solve problems you never knew existed? to find the solutions which you have no access to? not because you are incapable. but because to even begin would mean that you would first have to lose everything you hold dear. even to the extend of who you truly are.
but you are forced to. what then? blocking out these things take so much effort. posted by ellie at 11/12/2005 03:06:00 pm
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