i get that the letters are impersonal.
but they are private. and they are mine.

posted by ellie at 6/22/2007 11:21:00 pm

there are some things i really want to scream out, but don't have the opportunity to do so.

there are some things i want to say, but i can't find the right words.

there are some things i want to get off my chest, but the situation does not permit it.

posted by ellie at 6/22/2007 12:41:00 am

don't put me in a fix because of your lies.

get a life.

seriously.

posted by ellie at 6/20/2007 11:30:00 pm

she got out of the car with the other two. the sun has just set, and dark was beginning to consume most of what she was seeing. the first thing she noticed was a huge black sheet of metal, that acted like a gate, which was squashed between two thick, white, cement walls that ended way above her head. there was a gap between the ground and the gate, and she could see the cement flooring on the other side. she didn't know what to expect - even though she knew she was there for dinner.

the first of the two knocked on the gate, and walked several steps back. she looked at the first curiously. then, out of nowhere, she heard a huge bang at the gate. she screamed.

and then it barked. a most hysterical bark, which she realised much later, came from a tiny, furry dog. she laughed at her own silliness. but she couldn't have known what was on the other side of the gate, not just yet.

the gate finally opened, and on the other side, stood a tall thin man. the four greeted each other expectedly, with three pecks on the cheek - left, right, left. she was still getting used to it. but she was willing to embrace it nonetheless, albeit with lots of apprehension.

she looked around the compound. she had expected something like a huge bungalow. considering what little she saw from the outside, she knew that the wall boxed up a relatively large space. but she was pleasantly surprised when she saw that to her left, was a huge garden - more like a grass patch - with trees scattered here and there. to her right, was what she deemed as slightly unusual. the house was really not what she expected. it was really a long one story building, and one would have to climb a few steps before one reaches the various doors. the first door revealed a living room. the next was a bathroom. she climbed down the stairs. in the next part of the building which was somewhat detached, was another bathroom behind a heavy door. then the kitchen, and a room which was completely blocked out to her.

the man led the four of them straight to the kitchen, and it warmed her when she observed how normal the family was acting around the guests. it was as if the family already regarded them as their own. she felt slightly awkward, with her being new to the surroundings and all, but after a while, she relaxed - and just looked. she was in a bubble as compared to her environment. everyone was rushing about doing something - making the salad sauce, tearing the salad leaves, boiling a saucepan full of what she believed looked like cow's tongue, starting the fire in the barbecue pit outside, smoking, drinking wine. even the dog seems immersed in that aura of busyness. but not she. she was just completely happy watching the world go by right before her.

it was time for dinner. it was uneventful, yet so completely eventful at the same time. dinner was lovely. but what she remembered most out of the experience was how easily the family welcomed her, when before that, they have never even heard of her. she was glowing inside, and she was grateful for their hospitality.

more kisses before she left. and finally, she realised why those kisses were so important.


posted by ellie at 6/03/2007 11:08:00 pm