time: 0141h

sometimes i get an overwhelming rush of emotions, especially at around this time. when the house is all quiet, when there's hardly a sound made, except by the nails that periodically hit the keys on the keyboard, the occasional motorbike or car zooming by, but very muffled because it is heard at a distance. otherwise, silence. complete silence.

but while i love the silence, which is maybe why i enjoy staying up so late, something quite a few people cannot fathom, there are times (especially like these) which i find that it is completely deafening. the lack of sound means that there's nothing to block out the thoughts that are screaming in my mind. this jumble in my head, i wish i could pack them in little boxes, preferably labled, so i could open them when i wish, neatly, one at the time.

but no. memories do not work that way. the flood your mind, with no way of stopping the proverbial tides from ruining everything that was previously calm and dry.

as a friend always says: what's done is done and cannot be undone.

things happen. live through them. survive. there has to be some strength that could be garnered from just surviving. nothing should be more exhilirating than just being alive.

anyway, it is 0153h, and i have spent the time writing about completely nothing.

isn't that just the best thing to do, and the best time to do it? =)

posted by ellie at 5/14/2008 01:40:00 am