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something is wrong.
i want something. it was within reach. it was so close. i could touch it. i could smell it. i could definitely see it. but i put it down. the irony. why did i do that? it was pure stupidity mixed with pride. which was diminishing by that minute anyway. i should just have gone for it. it would have been good. i know it. would i be in that position again? tohave something so close it is practically right under my nose? i need something. old news. bad timing. worse reaction. i crave something. serenity. as if! like that's ever gonna happen soon. i need sleep. i need rest. exhaustion. fatigue. this is absolutely ridiculous! I NEED TO SCREAM! i want to ruin something. i want to hit something so hard that it breaks. to smash it. with my fist. i don't want some stupid controlled environment. i don't need kick-boxing classes or crap like that. i don't need to scream at some stupid god-forsaken land. i want pure destruction. i am bloody sick of it. i have had enough of being treated like some good-for-nothing bloody idiot who doesn't know a single thing about anything. i hate being thought of as some nutcase and whacko just because i refuse to do something. just sod off. i want to go away. posted by ellie at 2/24/2007 12:32:00 am
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