OPENING NIGHT

nerve-wrecking. uncomfortable. good. lovely. success. blue rose. tiring.

very tired.

i no longer speak.

posted by ellie at 2/26/2005 04:21:00 pm

love. infactuation. passion. obsession.

platonic love. romantic love. one-sided love. self-love. love of gratitude. unrequited love.

being the naive idiot that i am, i make a fool of myself a few too many times. if i weren't me, and if i had been watching the way i reacted, i would have laughed at myself. anyone would. for goodness sakes, only a raving idiot would be so daft as to act the way i did.

to feel what i'm feeling now would be pure torture. for i reveal nothing of myself. yet in me, a thousand emotions are fighting to be revealed. i know not what to do. yet i do know that i should do nothing for now. or maybe something. but i shall do that something when i realise that doing nothing does not work. i have yet to try out doing something. i have been leaving doing something to someone else for some time now. maybe it's time for me to do something.

mother nature's creatures.

posted by ellie at 2/22/2005 01:51:00 pm

a part of me feels hollow. empty. numb.

no reason why i felt such. then again, i seem to cease to feel. no joy. no sorrow. no opinions whatsoever.

i don't trust myself anymore. it's difficult. try going through life un-trusting.

my actions do not reflect what i feel. i hide myself too well till i hardly know me anymore. everyone else does though. i meant know me. not themselves. i haven't known me for a very long time. i act too well. yet i can hardly act.

no wonder i'm always a neutral party. i feel zilch for anyone.

posted by ellie at 2/17/2005 02:15:00 pm

u called to tell me u left. and u left me all alone. unexpectedly.

posted by ellie at 2/06/2005 12:36:00 am